Do you know what I'd like at the end of my life? One of those shows they have when they need to fill in an episode of a television program. One of those ones where they revisit things in a neat-o video montage with a recorded studio audience laughing and awwwing at various points... And the audience would be made up of devoated fans and southern hill billies that would be handed the microphone and be able to ask me a question they felt needed to be addressed because they feel positively OUTRAGED I SAY... like on the tyra banks show, or Dr Drew from 16 and pregnant, or jerry springer. I would also like a visual display with a host dressed in a tux. A display of all the things I ever used, and some random statistics about what I got up to in the 80, 90 odd years I was alive... I 'd like to see the pile of tofu I would have consumed in my life. I wonder how many bobby pins I would have used? How many litres of Orange juice I drank, or how many metres worth of highlighting I did? I'd like to see how much water I personally used... and the total distance of how many steps I ever took. I'd like to know how many coats of nail polish I ever painted, and how many days I was ever sick for. I'd like to see the pile of every single piece of clothing I had ever worn or owned. I'd like to know how many people I met or could recognise. I'd like to see how many tuna cans I consumed and how many starburst babies I ever ate. I'd like to know how many times I wrote my name out and see a pile of all the rolls of toilet paper I ever used.
I always think about that....
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